Capone is Blood-Hungry

Caponer

My house is right in front of the Tallwood woodlands so it’s not uncommon for me to wake up to find possums, squirrels, and raccoons in my garage or upstairs where they come in through the attic. There’s also the rare occasion of snakes on the patio and in the trash cans. Really, none of those bother me because I love animals but the two things I’m deathly afraid of are spiders and rats. Luckily we don’t have a big spider infestation around here but I am 100% sure of the fact that a couple of rats have made my house into their personal condo and playground. I bring forth the following evidence:

Exhibit #1: Bachelor pads under the washing machine and behind the furniture:

We’re having the plumbing and floors redone on one side of the house and when the boys moved the furniture they found nests of fiberglass, dog food, and rat poop in the corner

Exhibit #2: Suspicious hole behind the toilet in one of the master bathrooms

I know that this wasn’t here before because this bathroom was just remodeled. Take note of the wood shavings on the floor and the telltale chew marks on the wall.

Exhibit #3:

This really has nothing to do with the rat situation but I saw this box at my dad’s house and I think it looks kinda like boobs.

I should also mention that on three occasions we’ve seen the dogs go nuts and start chasing an unidentified moving object around the house.

So either the rats start paying rent and contributing to the $90 a month I spend on dog food, or they can have a date with the hot A-Active guy (who, by the way, is welcome to come over with his hose any time).

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