Before meeting my fiancé, the most exposure I’d had to gambling was the occasional friendly late night nickel/dime/quarter poker games you have with friends after a night of partying when you eventually get bored and have nothing else to do.  Well, that was then – nowadays I’m upping my housewife potential by learning how to do things like make laundry detergent and not blow up the microwave every time I want to make macaroni and cheese (you’re supposed to make that in the microwave, right?).  It would seem that at 23 I’m officially retired from having a life :)

My future mother-in-law got me into the casino scene the first time she brought us along on one of her frequent trips to Dover  Downs.  I was amazed at the concept of a slot machine: You put in $20, pull the lever a couple times, and while you may win a dollar here and there, suddenly it’s all gone. While you’re disappointed for a few minutes, you move onto the next machine and do the same thing, only to rinse and repeat until you’re out a couple hundred and heading to the ATM to get more.  All you hope for is that one shot of hitting a jackpot – after all, a couple hundred bucks is nothing compared to thousands that can possible fall in your lap, right?

…Riiiight. The last time I was in Dover I hit a winning streak at one of the high-roller Blackjack tables.  I was at the table for a few hours, and as the night wore on the table was joined by a young man that looked like a complete train wreck. His eyes were all red and watery as if he hadn’t slept in days, and he was nervously shuffling his chips on the table with one hand while his left leg was shaking under the table.  He was bidding $100 a hand  and every time he ran out of chips he’d disappear for a few minutes and come back with more.  After the third time he just sat in the chair as if he’d given up all hope in life.  Ironically, a few minutes later his wife called him and I overheard her on his phone asking him why their credit card was declined when she went to the store to buy diapers. Ouch.  That was when I picked up my winnings, cashed out, and went about enjoying the other amenities of the casino.   I’ m getting married soon and Richie and I have a specific three-year plan that consists of getting married, having a child, and purchasing our own house – a plan that can be easily foiled by excessive gambling debts.

Now for me, it’s easy to not get addicted to gambling because the nearest casino is four hours away.  As most of you know, I live in Virginia (a commonwealth), and there’s no way they’re going to legalize gambling anytime soon…so it’s not like I have to pass by a casino on my way to work every day.  After all, if Virginia ends up spending all their federal funding on gambling-related bankruptcies they won’t be able to spend $19 million to widen a road.

I leave you with the following pro gambling tips:

• Only play with money that you are ok with losing
• Only play with money you have – never take loans or cash advances from your credit cards
• When you hit a winning streak and then inevitably start losing again, stop while you’re ahead
• Don’t rely on gambling to supplement your income – at the most you’re probably going to end up breaking even in the log run (remember, winning a $2000 jackpot is nothing if you lost $500 a month for the last year trying to win it)
• Instead of slots, try the card games – they require a little skill so it tends to be easier to win…
• …but don’t play the computerized card games. They are totally rigged.
• Give Poker Stars a try – you can download their little app and play poker online with real people (rather than the house) and, in addition to adding a little amusement to a lonely night, you’re likely to walk away with a couple extra bucks

Related posts:

1. The LA Experience
2. I’m So Smart